Thirty Days...

Well - it's been a month now....Oct. 3 to Nov. 3 - are they still happy?
Word has it....some new bride got flowers today...I guess that answers that (makes the rest of us look bad, though)

I had some things I wanted to say during the wedding, but things were going so well...the tempo was awesome...I didn't want to interrupt.

But, I'd like to share with you my wedding thoughts...this is what I was going to say...

Today is a historic event for the Fappiano family and the Romano family -
the wedding of their only son, and the wedding of our only daughter….right?

I want to share with you a little background history with you about Nikki & Freddie in case you don't know how they came to be here tonight…


Nikki was born in Hartford hospital during my second year of law school.

We lived in a cold flat in an apartment building on Franklin Avenue owned by Joanne's grandmother - we had grand parents, great grandparents, cousins - it was the center of the family.

Nikki was the first girl in the Romano family and the first baby of our group of friends - so family & friends would stop over all the time to see Nikki - some would even pinch her when she was sleeping so she would wake up and play.

Later, we moved into a condo - but when Jay was born we bought a house in Wethersfield. Nikki was a great big sister. She cuddled Jay, played with him, looked out for him, and shared her toys with him.

We gave Nikki a birthday party one year and rented her a pony - Nikki didn't even mind when Jay wouldn't get off the pony the whole day.

Even Christmas mornings, she'd get Jay up and help him get him dressed; then she'd keep him waiting on the top of the stairs until we had everything was set around the tree.

Nikki went to Wethersfield public schools and was very active - she took jazz dance lessons, piano lessons and when she went out with her mother and grandmothers, she took shopping lessons.

She attended Mercy HS in Middletown - an all girl's Catholic prep school.

During high school - Nikki worked weekends at a little pasta shop on Franklin Avenue called Ravioli Kitchen. She would sell fresh raviolis to the Italian ladies that would come in to get their pasta for Sunday's dinner. They all loved her and she enjoyed working there.

When it was time to look at colleges, Jay was playing AAU basketball on the weekends - all over greater New England.

Nikki and I would go where Jay was playing a couple of days early to visit potential schools in that area.

Then Joanne and Jay would come up Friday night and we'd switch so Nikki could go back with Joanne to work.

That was a fun time for just Nikki and I.


They say when a kid knows a college is right, she just knows. And that was true with Nikki. Nikki was accepted to a number of fine colleges, many offered her scholarship money - but of course, she didn't like those.

When she first drove onto Fordham University campus - she said "dad, this is the one" and it was. She loved the school and did well there.

We were excited for her - a little nervous that she was in New York City, in the Bronx - but it was a great school.

We were a little concerned when 9-11 happened and she was in New York….that was scary.

And we didn't sleep so well the next semester either when she continued her studies in Florence, Italy. But, she traveled around, got some culture and learned a little of the language - she could order dessert and coffee fluently in Italian.

I've always had confidence in Nikki - she has a great personality, a winning smile, and a level head on her shoulders.

Soon, Nikki graduated from Fordham University, with honors, with a degree in Finance. She was lucky to have her four grandparents, her brother Jay and her two broke parents all watch her receive her diploma.
We were all very proud of her.

After graduation, Nikki took a job as a finance analyst with Weathervane.

From Weathervane she went on to Bob's Clothing Stores as an assistant buyer, then to the TJX Corp. as a buyer and then to her present position with Moore Medical as a buyer.

The only job she's ever had in her adult life has been in purchasing - as a buyer - you know, a professional shopper

Freddie - do you see a pattern - she goes from spending my money, to getting a job spending other people's money….to now, thank God, she gets to spend your money.

They say when you love something, you have to let it go. If it loves you, it comes back, and if it doesn't come back, it was never really yours - And if it stays on the phone all day, uses your credit cards, and hogs the remote, you either married it or gave birth to it.

That's a little history of Nikki Marie Romano Fappiano.


Let me tell you what I know about my new son-in-law - Alfredo Fappiano…

Joanne - where's that report from my private investigator - let me get it out……only kidding.

When we first met Freddie…we didn't actually meet him - we only heard of him. He was the guy in the driveway that didn't come in.

I don't know if he didn't want to meet us or Nikki needed time to prepare him.

In the beginning, poor Freddie used to commute back & forth to Torrington after he and Nikki went out for the night. After a while, we invited him to stay over….and a few nights he did.
Sleeping on the couch, of course.

Freddie was polite, respectful and quiet….at first.

We found out Freddie was from Torrington….was an engineer, worked at IBM and had a family just like ours - one boy, one girl, strong family ties, lots of tradition.

He had his master's degree and drove a Mercedes….well, at that point, I really liked him!

It didn't take Freddie long to win over our entire family - Joanne....Jay.... and Nikki's aunts & uncles -
my own mother loved him, so did Grandma Tine and Poppy Joe -
he was Italian….and well….we like Italians.

He never met Poppy Tine, but we're sure Poppy Tine would have liked him too…
forget about it.

We found out Freddie had worked at a snack bar growing up, had friends in the food business, Alfredo, Rob, Sal - that was good - b/c we all like to eat.

But the thing I noticed the most was that Freddie made Nikki laugh.
I could see the smile in her eyes when they were together.

They had fun - you couldn't help but notice they just plain had fun being together.

Freddie came to Vermont with us, went to the garlic festival, played bingo, played cards - went to Boston with us, took Salsa lessons, even wore a lobster hat.

Nikki laughed, Freddie laughed and Joanne and I were content.

Freddie was smart and nice and fun to be around…..and he made my daughter laugh.

We learned that Freddie clips coupons - bargains for everything - he says he learned that from his mother - he keeps gift cards like they're a rare coin collection. He loves to cook, buys everything on sale ….and did I tell you, he makes my daughter laugh.

When it was time for Freddie to ask Nikki to marry him - he wanted to surprise her, but before he did, he honorably felt he needed to talk to me first.

Joanne called me one day and told me to come home right away.

When I walked in - Joanne was pacing. She was nervous.
Freddie looked like he ate a bad canolli - a little pale - a litte shaky - he was nervous too.

And then like the respectful kid that he is, he looked right at me and asked for my blessing to take my daughter's hand in marriage.

Joanne and I knew this was coming, we hoped this was coming, but I gotta tell you, in that moment….all I could picture was little Nikki sitting on the top of the stairs on Christmas morning in her little pink housecoat…filled with excitement and anticipation.

I blinked, looked back at Freddie, and there Nikki was again…hugging Freddie's arm and looking up at him with loving eyes.

I knew this kid was the guy for her….a wonderful young man from a great family with terrific friends, a fun kid….who loves my daughter…will give her a good life, and most of all, he makes her laugh.

So, here we are…..

Nikki and Freddie…. you will have days when you're as happy as you are today, ....but you will also face challenges in your life…. and days when things don't go as well.

I love you both and my deepest hope for you - is to keep each other laughing through ALL of those times.

Folks - thank you all for listening to this rather long toast, but she is my only daughter…

Please stand, raise your glasses, and join me in wishing my beautiful daughter Nikki and her wonderful new husband Alfredo….a lifetime of laughter.

(stay tuned for more wedding comments from....the Father of the Bride)

Circle of life...

The guests have all gone and the fancy clothes have been put away.

The last couple of week's excitement is wearing down and pure tiredness has overcome us. We drift off early in the evening with memories of a fairytale day and dreams of the happy smiles on the faces of loved ones. It was all so perfect and I couldn't be happier with my life.

I have come away with a deeper respect for Nikki and Freddie and a greater confidence that the family and friends they have chosen to surround themselves with are just so wonderful….such good people….truly good people.

And maybe that's the emotion I felt - joy that these good people will be a great source of comfort and support throughout my daughter and her new husband's life together; to be there for them and give them love when I'm no longer able to.

That's the circle of life, I guess. I'm just a little wistful that Jo and I aren't young enough to take the whole journey with them. I wish we could....but oh, what fun they'll have.

I know they will because I know the joy I have enjoyed along mine. A wonderful marriage and two great kids that almost burst my heart with pride and love each and every time I see them. Jo and I have been so lucky. I understand, now, why my mom and dad looked at me that certain way - and I wish I could thank them for it.

I was in domestic violence court the other day, a few days after Nikki and Freddie got married. The prosecutor and I talked about how many counseling sessions my client should be ordered to go through.

All I could think of is that domestic violence defendants shouldn't do counseling - they should be ordered to watch wedding ceremonies; to see the joy and hope and love that they once felt and forgot about.

Maybe then they wouldn't choose anger over comfort or argument over affection. Maybe they would remember to be sensitive instead of busy. Maybe they wouldn't think holding hands was silly or they were too busy to give a kiss the first thing every morning to match the goodnight kiss that was the last thing at night.

John Lennon nailed it - all you need is love.

Photo Links

I'll try to put links up as people email me...


Giovanna's
http://www5.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=2205045009/a=685640025_57221147/

Mine
http://www5.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=432434025/a=685640025_685640025/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=snapfish/

A lucky man...

No, I don't mean Freddie - although he is also a lucky guy.

I'm talking about me - OMG, I had the chance to see my beautiful daughter and her wonderful husband with the biggest smiles on their faces and lights in their eyes EVER.

She said she wanted to dance every dance at her wedding - and she did.
She and Freddie were glowing, radiant and exuberant!!!

It was fantastic and so joyous...so joyous...
(I'm beat - way too late for this early riser)

Everyone danced...laughed...the food was incredible...the DJ funny and perfect....and centerpieces was astonishing.....my good friend Ralph treated us to his beautiful voice for 3 songs, one all in Italian (dedicated to Freddie's parents).

I am a lucky man with the wonderful friends and family I have. I saw it yesterday....and I am truly blessed. So much love, so many genuine well wishers, so many warm & loving friends. So many people thanked me for inviting them, for letting them be a part of it. They joined in our celebration, shared our enthusiasm and celebrated my unbridled love for my daughter - wow - wow - wow.

Thanks to my friend Debbie, I relaxed.

Freddie's family and friends are terrific. They rock. His parents don't stop (showing me up with their energy). His friends, their friends are so cool.

Family and friends from near and far joined us - such a treat with some old friends.

The wedding party, Nikki and Freddie's friends are so special - they partied, helped, supported Nikki and Freddie - with that circle around them, what a great life they're going to have.

This morning's brunch with the wedding party, cousins, my two brothers (who I just don't get to hang with enough), my DAD, and the newest Mr. and Mrs. Fappiano...fantastic. Marriot's are great!

Ed the Florist

The florist just dropped off the girl's bouquets - OMG...
they are beautiful...and I'm welling up again....

(flowers..well ok, but I look at a cup and tear up)

All alone

Well, the girls are all off to the hair salon..it was fun. They got up laughing and enjoying themselves.
Joanne made a great morning buffet for them. Hot coffee, sweets and great friendship.

I'm alone now...and it's raining, inside and out. I just feel so proud of Nikki and Freddie - they are both just so special, I am so happy (I just can't stop sobbing - Nikki is such a great kid)

I'm glad, right now, that I'm alone...me and the rain.

Today is gonna be so great.

Good morning world...

Today is the day. This is it. All the planning, organizing, the attention to detail...it all comes down to one day. Even the rehearsal dinner is over.

I wish I could take some of the credit - but it all goes to Nikki and Freddie. They are amazing. I am so proud of both of them. They thought of everything....

I wish I could describe the feeling better....to love your child so much and be so happy and proud as they grow into such beautiful people...even when that growth means they don't need us anymore....

Nikki and Feddie were such a team at the rehearsal dinner - Nikki thanked everyone, Freddie fed her the wedding party gifts.....the two of them together were like a well oiled machine....hand in hand....

I'm so proud of both of them and I'll be so happy to see them take their vows.....

What a day! A good day